Thursday, March 31, 2011

I Heard Him Whisper

I have had time to reflect and spend time with Jesus. I want so desperately to know what the next step in my journey will be. I write encouragement to the Sisters in my Bible Study, and write here in this blog. But I feel there is another piece to pick up and place in the puzzle. I have all but abandoned my gift of being an artist. This is a gift I should perhaps not allow to remain dormant any longer. I paint fairly well, I do other things like cake decorating and sculpture and I miss it. I know it is a God given gift and I need to return to it. When I create something I feel a closeness to my Lord. I need to get past the excuses and start doing what I was called to do, Create. Everyday seems consumed with doing, whether it is studying for college or helping my daughter in school, there never seems to be enough time in a day. I know I am not the only one caught in this cycle. Now we need to move and I do not have a clue as to where. I am laying it before my Father and waiting on Him to show me the way. In addition to that it looks as if I no longer have a church home. The place I attend is empty and cold and so my days there are numbered. I cannot let the pain consume me, it seeks me out in the night and floods over my heart and I cry out , "Jesus oh Jesus why has this happened?" When will I heal and where am I going now?... I can't lose my teacher... I can't lose my sisters... I thought I was doing so well.. following you... learning your Word as never before. What went wrong? In the quiet of the night... I listen... I thought I heard Him whisper... "It is all for the plans I have for you." "You were getting comfortable." "But Jesus, what is wrong with comfortable?" "Remember, in My Revelation to John, the letters to the seven churches...if you are lukewarm, neither hot or cold I will spew you out of my my letters and meditate on them." All I could say is "Yes Lord,...yes I will leave my comfort zone...I want what you have for me. I will follow you. Please let me follow you! I wait now on His call. Where ever You want me to go, I will go. You guide my steps Lord, I give the worry over to you. Now I wait... and listen... He is not in the storm, or the wind, or the earthquake,... He is in the a whisper, (1 Kings 19). Listen for Him...

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